When Darkness Came Knocking…

A beautiful and honest poem shared with Miles For Mind by one of our team members. We thank you for being brave enough to share your story and we applaud your strength.

When Darkness Came Knocking

Every day is the same as the last, it seems to stand so still

Each memory painful from my past

I felt a dark cloud appear one day which took me by surprise

I worried about my dear son and others views of our lives

The fear was overwhelming when the cloak of darkness came

It took my breath away as people thought I was insane

A professional woman strong and bold
A UK Veteran too

A mother full of love with a good kind heart – inside I was falling apart

Darkness engulfing my soul

I couldn’t move and think it through

The confusion and illness paralysed me
A tormented statue

No light in sight not even a flicker

My mind continued to get sicker

No thoughts came to mind not even one- the darkness was laughing it thought it had won

In reality – the battle had just begun

I paced the floor night after night – crying uncontrollable with no vision in sight

I reached out to many -but they could not see through my pain and pleads – it was true you see

I was scared and confused and wondered…Why was I not worthy?

I was feeling mocked, shamed and disgraced for an illness I couldnt control

Watching society from my dark desperate hole

Am I not worthy of compassion?

Isolation and fear became the norm -there were no words – I felt alone

The darkness had took me – no thoughts were in sight – deep in the depths

Failure and torment was all I could might

No matter how hard I tried to control my mind

There was no meaning – only emptiness

I no longer had a soul – a living mess

I sat in the doctors no word of a lie and told him it was over…it was time to die

My eyes were black my mind had gone

I couldn’t see how I could carry on

My son sat beside me holding my hand he said mum I need you -I love you please try and hold on

I sat with no emotion my eyes dark with fear

My son -my world – it was time to conquer fear

I knew I must find the strength to push past this state

Not become another statistic in a cruel test of fate

I continued to work throughout my pain helping others was my main aim

1 in 4 would suffer the same

I could not bear to see someone suffer like me

I took it step by step – minute by minute & hour by hour to recover from this nothingness and complete my duty

The fear that made me cower was losing to me

The light slowly returned I could see hope through the trees a beacon of light calling me please..

So my friends remember you are never alone

Help is there for you too – just pick up the phone

I can help you break free from the turmoil & discontent to enable you to live fully with positive intent

Written by Carol Harte

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *